literature

Reflection

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Literature Text

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Today was not a good one for Xull'rae. Priestly duties were a chore when complying to be a Lolthite. She was not a priestess of stature, but she was one, and the youngest in the entire temple. She knew she had talent and so did all the others; it was why she could and did survive daily. Weak she was now, but strong she would one day become.

This though did not lighten her mood for long. The teasing and abuse today were too heavy.

True, she impaled the bitch that dared to say she was uglier and stumpier than a Duergar. It certainly made the others quiet when she cracked the woman's backbone before sticking the dagger right through her mouth, making it go through the back of her neck.

Yes there were witnesses, but none dared speak against Xull'rae after the killing. Besides she had nothing to greatly fear, the wench back slapped her first and tried to strangle her after Xull'rae had confronted her on the poison in her wine.  It was self defense really. So what, she happened to enjoy watching as the body had collapsed in a heap, maybe the others wouldn't talk so much now.

The Matron was not pleased though, as the priestess impaled was her best one. As punishment Xull'rae was now set on the task of finding a replacement. This was Sshamath and numbers mattered greatly to the temple here. The punishment could have been worse, but since it proved Xull'rae was a least physically stronger than a high priestess and cunning enough to kill before being killed, still kept the red head in her Mother's favor.

Xull'rae was dressed and ready in the finest dark purple satin, but now came the preening. A ruse to show she cared about her looks, and carried her house name with dignity and pride. She sat in front of her large mirror and began oiling her hands and arms. Amber colored eyes looked critically at her reflection. As much as Xull'rae loathed being picked on, she could not blame any of them. Who truly cared for such odd colored hair...a streaking of white, the rest red? A defect many called it, perhaps it was. She was short too, bad breeding some said.

The drowess stopped oiling to begin brushing her thick long hair. As she made the strokes, all the taunting lingered in her mind. Suddenly it was like watching a stranger in the mirror. Her face contorted in such rage, and suddenly her image splintered into several.

Blinking, Xull'rae stepped back, crunching on shards of glass. She looked at the mirror; it was shattered with a hole in the middle. Her hand was clenched and bloody.

Her fragmented image stared at her accusingly. Xullrae sighed in defeat. No matter what she did, someone would find a line to read between, it was how people were down here in the Underdark.

Xull'rae realized that she would always be ugly no matter what she altered or dressed up.

Why couldn't she look and be like the others? Why was she so different? Why must she always fight harder than others to gain just an ounce of notice?

Why did she have to hide what she really was? She wanted so much to worship Vhaeraun openly, yet she could not. He needed secrecy and therefore Xull'rae adoringly obeyed, but sometimes like today, it was so hard. She wanted freedom, she wanted understanding. She wanted to be pretty.

Today was not the day for those things though. Duty came before desire as The Masked Lord wills. Maybe if she were more dutiful and faithful he would notice. She believed that above all others, that He understood her.

With that thought alone brought comfort.  The pain in her hand and the taunting of the day were pushed back. One day she would be strong and those that caused her pain in the past, present, and future would suffer greatly. She would be feared!  They would understand her then, and know she was not to be touched or spoken to without a say. She would be stronger than any of them . . . and any who opposed the Masked Lord would be brought to kneel and their blood smeared on his alters.

All would see . . . eventually . . . . .
All alone, Xull'rae has a self evaluation......

Has Violence and Adult Language RATING: PG-13

Original COVER ART ADDED ON October 5th, 2007 done by :icondemonangelsdream: Original can be located here: [link]
NEW cover art added June 28th, 2010 Comment on it here [link]
Go tell her she rocks! Because she DOES for making me the happiest person right now! :boogie:

Last Updated: January 27th, 2011
© 2006 - 2024 XullraeZauviir
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DameOdessa's avatar
Awesome writing, my dear :) I really enjoyed it :) You're a fantastic author and your character is so marvelous!