To Be Alone

How long had it been? The solitary person did not know. Weeks maybe, it felt that long, but with so many gaps in memories it could be that years had passed. Thinking caused the head to ache.

What am I?

The place was dark, but the eyes could see very clearly in no light. An assessment of the area showed she was dark skinned and naked. When she tried to find any identifying marks she was hampered by chains.

"Drow," she said aloud. Her voice was raspy, licking her lips revealed chapped skin. A bucket was nearby, she kicked it over, nothing spilled out.

Am I alone, or am I dehydrating?

The drowess couldn't even remember her name or why she was here, but she did know she hurt everywhere. The body felt sore and stiff and scabs on her wrists at least let her know she had been confined to this . . . cell? She didn't know what it was, there was no door.

She was thirsty. Food made her wretch in dry heaves, even breathing hurt. She was skinny, wounds, scabs and bruises plagued her skin. So many questions ran through her head but everything fled as soon as she had something coherent.

The drowess giggled, it hurt, but the pain just made her laugh harder, she didn't even know why she was laughing. It did not feel good to do it but she couldn't control herself. She threw back her head and screamed laughter till she started coughing. On the ceiling, she saw something that looked like a hatch. Swallowing the blood in her throat she scampered along the wall, but her restraints prevented her from climbing. She clawed at the chains, the wall, herself until she was tired, which wasn't long.

So all the marks on the wall and on her person, she made herself? Why couldn't she remember?

Who am I?

"Xull'rae," she heard herself say.

Was she alone, was she talking to herself or was someone there?

"Out. Let me out," she croaked.

Nothing happened and no one came.

You're fucked.

"Who are you?" Xull'rae looked around but it was only her, the bucket, and the chains.

Silence.

"Don't leave me alone . . ."

More silence. It was weird her head was throbbing this badly yet managed to make no noise whatsoever.

"Please?" Xull'rae whimpered through a sob.

A whisper tickled the edge of the drowess' hearing. "I can't hear you."

Another whisper, the other voices joined in, some talking, some laughing, others screamed, while others sang. "No . . . stop . . . go away."

In a rush Xull'rae remembered everything, but her mind was merciless in the details that the drowess could not tell which screams were hers and which were in her head. She clawed at herself but nothing made them stop. She did the only thing she could think of, she rammed her head into the wall until they went silent. Eventually she would kill herself and it would be a mercy, if she were freed there was no telling what she'd do.

Before exhaustive sleep claimed her Xull'rae knew that she'd wake to do this all over again . . . it was better to be confined than letting anyone see how far into madness she had fallen.